Remember when I said I would be posting once a week now that I’ve graduated school? Well, as most things in life, things don’t always go as planned.
I’m not going to sugar-coat it: post-grad life has been incredibly difficult for me. I want to write this piece for all of my fellow recent grads who may feel the same or struggle with similar issues. I want you to know that you’re not alone.
Everybody tells you that college will be the best four years of your life and you should truly live it up – and I did. I am so glad that I used my time in college to learn about myself, my values, and my character. Sure, I earned a degree and gained professional skills; but the most valuable knowledge I gained from college did not come from a classroom. I had the time of my life and figured out who I am along the way.
That sounds amazing, right? I thought I had it all figured out. So, why am I struggling so much now?
Coming off of the intense high of college, I’ve met a tremendous let-down after graduation. Looking back on these past few months, you might say I’ve had an incredible experience – I saw my best friend in LA, spent endless quality time with my family, started a new job, and met some amazing new people.
Everything appears picture-perfect. But here’s the deal: post-grad life is so hard.
I didn’t realize how much of my identity was wrapped up in things relating to college – my friends, my job, my sorority, my independence, my major, even my apartment.
Suddenly, graduation wipes all of those things away. I no longer have all of my best friends living within 10 minutes of me. I no longer have a house full of 150 women I can relate to. I no longer have the freedom and independence of living on my own. I no longer have a job that’s just a college job.
Sure, people warn you that post-grad life will be difficult. They all say “welcome to the ‘real world.'”
But I just spent four years of my life defining myself based on temporary things – only to be thrown into the ‘real world’ to find that I feel like have no idea what I’m doing.
I have so many questions…
How do you make new friends as an adult?
How do I know what I want to do for a career if I have so many different interests?
How can I save enough money to get my own apartment when I’m hardly being paid enough to feed myself?
How do I re-define my relationship with my parents so they see me as an adult, not a child?
How do I date when there’s so much pressure to hurry up and settle down?
I feel paralyzed at times. Paralyzed by loneliness. By fear. By uncertainty.
The decisions I make in the next few years all have such massive repercussions for the rest of my life. I often feel completely unable to answer these questions because I’m terrified of being wrong. If I make a mistake now – in the “real world” – the consequences can affect my entire future.
I once read a book that described this feeling perfectly:
Imagine you are treading water in the middle of the ocean. You can’t see land anywhere and you have no idea what direction land could possibly be in. You could start swimming in one direction and hope to find land. But there’s the chance you won’t find any and you could actually be swimming farther and farther away from land. Or, what if you find land, but you don’t like it or there’s people you don’t like there? You’re terrified of swimming at all for fear of making that mistake. So instead, you just tread water – paralyzed, moving nowhere, making no progress. Eventually, you grow tired of treading water and you die.
I don’t want to tread water, but it’s all I feel I can do! I’m terrified of making these choices and potentially be swimming away from land.
